Something just clicked. I am on the train, wiped from my time with K at the doctor’s office. The six trains plus navigating people plus steering bulky stroller towards elevators and away from the back of people’s legs adds up. I feel heavy, thirsty, in need of a back rub, and just something green in my hands. I want to walk inside a forest, inhale moss and witness birds as they sing or pull out a sloppy worm. I need nature and water, the primal elements to balance concrete and the hard slabs of walking it, riding rails, and feeling crowded air.
This is my aha–though rather obvious to anyone with lungs or eyes or a working heart and brain. This is why NYC must have its Central Park, why Paris savors its Tuileries and rooftop gardens. We devour the thing we crave.
I spend so much pocket-change on flowers, daydream of raised gardens, heirloom tomatoes, indoor rubber trees and leaves of ivy growing around and up and inside my home; I am thirsty.
I live city life, am city life. I am pulled like the trains, know all the stops and songs, stare into screens, all of us, using the tread up on our shoes. We city creatures with our stuffy need for mountains and something not steel. When was the last time I hiked or belayed? (It goes sixth grade, then ninth, and then in college).
I am so heavy. Heavy when tired. This is probably when people book cruises or read Eat, Pray, Love and finally get their booty to a yoga class. It’s all vitality we’re after–the luxury of breathing better, cleaner, fuller,
It is a worthwhile luxury to invest in green. We’re all in it for the long-haul, right? Want to make our homes and hearts inviting.
I wanna not burn out in the starkness of city. Take back the jungle and let airplants sway down and hit me in the face. Nibble carrot sticks with ferocity, harvest butterflies barefoot, and nestle with my kids on pockets of verdant green. Drink matcha and dance to Vivaldi’s Spring. Smell like Aveda and drink pitchers full of distilled water with lemon. Walk in stride with the rain, run ahead of the wind, grow baby freckles in the sun.
I finally have the reasons I need to go back to that flower shop and buy that big tree. You’ll find me near leaves, see me newer than tired. Stronger instead of “beat”.